Ate a hershey chocolate almond bar on Day 4...but other than that I've been doing pretty good..nibbled on a few whole wheat saltines this morning to settle my stomach so I could go shop with mom, but that's about it. Finishing out Day 6 with my tea, looking forward to solid and delicious fatty food, but finding strength in that I've made it this far...Climbed on Friday (Day 4), biked 3 miles and ran 1.5 in the gym tonight...wish I'd been doing cardio all along, because it felt great. Hoping to swim some this week.
Missing food and still tempted by it, but not like before. Also, not hungry like before. Weighed in at 156.9 on Day 4.
Tomorrow, Day 7. :)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Day 3 Master Cleanse
Much harder day physically--felt very fatigued, sore all day (worked out on Monday, did legs pretty hard, inner thighs very very sore!), and struggled the first half of the day to just be mobile.
Got motivated to go to Toasty Yoga at the gym by 8, was feeling much better, got up and moving, by the time I got to the gym felt much less fatigued. Cravings not NEARLY as bad as yesterday. Feel like I can do this. Yesterday was definitely more mentally/emotionally challenging.
Also noticed today that I have leaned up a bit. Could see it visually, but weighed myself at the gym and came in at 158 (was 162 on Monday), which is a little over a pound a day lost, much of which came out of the intestinal tract I imagine, but maybe 2 pounds fat lost from the looks of my body. Also felt rewarding to see that my body was changing.
Tomorrow: day 4. :)
Got motivated to go to Toasty Yoga at the gym by 8, was feeling much better, got up and moving, by the time I got to the gym felt much less fatigued. Cravings not NEARLY as bad as yesterday. Feel like I can do this. Yesterday was definitely more mentally/emotionally challenging.
Also noticed today that I have leaned up a bit. Could see it visually, but weighed myself at the gym and came in at 158 (was 162 on Monday), which is a little over a pound a day lost, much of which came out of the intestinal tract I imagine, but maybe 2 pounds fat lost from the looks of my body. Also felt rewarding to see that my body was changing.
Tomorrow: day 4. :)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Day 2 Master Cleanse
Cravings pretty rough today--seriously considered breaking the cleanse several times from mid afternoon to evening, but managed to power through and make myself another lemonade and rent a movie to distract myself. Drank my tea about an hour ago, feeling strangely good right now. More alert and energetic than I've felt all day. Today was a pretty lethargic day. Very difficult to focus, a little cranky, physically weak. Surprisingly mentally weak. Only day two and the urge to eat something fatty and salty was nearly enough to override my resolve.
Scary to think how the body really has so much more control over us than we think. Not used to dealing with nearly- to uncontrollable urges. A bit unsettling to reflect upon.
Still feels like it will be eternity before I eat anything delicious again, but not feeling so bleak right now (the same could not be said for 3 hours ago... :)
Scary to think how the body really has so much more control over us than we think. Not used to dealing with nearly- to uncontrollable urges. A bit unsettling to reflect upon.
Still feels like it will be eternity before I eat anything delicious again, but not feeling so bleak right now (the same could not be said for 3 hours ago... :)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Day 1 Master Cleanse
Just completed first full day of the cleanse. Started yesterday, but mid-afternoon broke the cleanse to eat with Mike, who started the cleanse with me yesterday but was having a really bad day and wanted to start over in the AM together. So today is sorta like day 1.5, but we're calling it day one.
The hunger is mild, sort of like a dull nagging--the lemonade drink keeps what I would consider to be any sort of biting hunger at bay, at least today, but there is a sort of ever-present dull hunger that saturates everything. The real struggle for me is the emotional/psychological comfort of eating that is lost. I didn't feel sad at all today, but I did feel more anxious. I kept wanting to eat to feel comforted, and when I didn't, it made me feel uneasy. Seeing or smelling fried or greasy food is the worst. Went to Paddy with Sarah tonight, there were burgers and pizzas and I really thought several times about breaking the cleanse--and only on day one!
Just talked with Mike, and we both have been feeling like we'll never get real food again. The irrational finality of it is very curious. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of all of my favorite foods, permanently. Truthfully, of food altogether. It feels like the only thing I will ever consume again is this lemonade, and I am condemned to a life of watching other people eat hand-pattied cheeseburgers with fries and pizza. But it's only for a limited time really! From here, though, 10 days seems like eternity.
Whew. Gonna be a long 10 days.
Well. 9 now. :) :)
Drank around 6 or so lemonades today. Completed the salt water flush this a.m., lax tea last night, about to drink my tea for this evening right now.
I can do this.
The hunger is mild, sort of like a dull nagging--the lemonade drink keeps what I would consider to be any sort of biting hunger at bay, at least today, but there is a sort of ever-present dull hunger that saturates everything. The real struggle for me is the emotional/psychological comfort of eating that is lost. I didn't feel sad at all today, but I did feel more anxious. I kept wanting to eat to feel comforted, and when I didn't, it made me feel uneasy. Seeing or smelling fried or greasy food is the worst. Went to Paddy with Sarah tonight, there were burgers and pizzas and I really thought several times about breaking the cleanse--and only on day one!
Just talked with Mike, and we both have been feeling like we'll never get real food again. The irrational finality of it is very curious. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of all of my favorite foods, permanently. Truthfully, of food altogether. It feels like the only thing I will ever consume again is this lemonade, and I am condemned to a life of watching other people eat hand-pattied cheeseburgers with fries and pizza. But it's only for a limited time really! From here, though, 10 days seems like eternity.
Whew. Gonna be a long 10 days.
Well. 9 now. :) :)
Drank around 6 or so lemonades today. Completed the salt water flush this a.m., lax tea last night, about to drink my tea for this evening right now.
I can do this.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Master Cleanser: 2 days prior
Eaten today:
bfast: 1/3 c. museli and soymilk, one egg fried in e.v. olive oil, green tea kombucha
snack: apple sliced with peanut butter, vitamin water xxx
snack: kalakand (ricotta cheese, sweet condensed milk, almonds), coffee with half & half & sugra
Couldn't fall asleep until around 3 am last night (chai tea too late?), alarm went off at 8am, woke up at 9:50, reset alarm for 10:30, got out of bed shortly after it went off. Made breakfast for me and the girls and aurora, drank my tea, relaxed for a bit. 12:36 now, getting in shower, then some yoga, then some writing.
bfast: 1/3 c. museli and soymilk, one egg fried in e.v. olive oil, green tea kombucha
snack: apple sliced with peanut butter, vitamin water xxx
snack: kalakand (ricotta cheese, sweet condensed milk, almonds), coffee with half & half & sugra
Couldn't fall asleep until around 3 am last night (chai tea too late?), alarm went off at 8am, woke up at 9:50, reset alarm for 10:30, got out of bed shortly after it went off. Made breakfast for me and the girls and aurora, drank my tea, relaxed for a bit. 12:36 now, getting in shower, then some yoga, then some writing.
Master Cleanser, in T minus 3 Days...
So I'm going to start the Master Cleanser on Monday, November 29th. Today is Friday. I'm going to try to record what I experience while on the cleanse, beginning today. I've just re-read the info on this website, and I'm about to read the PDF of the original Master Cleanser Manual by Stanley Burroughs (download the PDF here, as found on this website.
I gorged myself at Thanksgiving yesterday at my family's celebration in Cincinnati, and woke up this morning still feeling uncomfortably full. I eat compulsively, for all occasions/moods/emotions really, but particularly to deal with anxiety and sadness. I would like very much to develop a healthier relationship with food, and to develop discipline over compulsive cravings feel generally less encumbered and more energetic. I suppose that's the purpose for my wanting to starve myself for 10 days, consuming only a lemonade cocktail that frankly doesn't sound too appealing.
Ok. For organization's sake:
What I hope to accomplish by fasting for 10 days with the Master Cleanser method:
11/26
*to break my habit of compulsive eating-- hope to do this by:
----learning to discipline myself and control compulsive cravings
----reflecting inwardly during the 10 days
*to experience something spiritual/internally insightful
*to lose a few pounds (since I might as well be honest here)
*to develop a generally heightened sense of discipline
*to really delve into my yoga practice
*to gain some sort of mental clarity
*to focus myself on what it is that I want
*to focus myself on what it is that I feel
*to learn what it feels like to be hungry, and to use this to help relate to much of the rest of the world
...(will add more as they come to me)
What I think will be difficult about the cleanse/fears:
*hunger pains
*worried about gas/painful intestinal response, especially after my bad reaction to the herbal detox program (herbal supplements) that resulted in about 9 days of painful stomach aches
*the urge to eat (seemingly overwhelming, but will not be!)
*worried about ability to focus and be productive
*worried that I will not be able to be physically active
*worried that it will impact my intimate life
Today's food intake:
B.fast at First Watch: Museli & organic vanilla yogurt, goedda, coffee & water (some artificial creamer in coffee)
lunch: chicken tenders from Arbys & water & Jamocha milkshake (on the road back from Cincy)
dinner: chick peas & raw cucumber, red peppers, & radishes with organic apple cider vinegar, salt, & pepper with pita bread & water
after dinner: chai black/yogi detox hot tea mix with soymilk
How I'm feeling today:
I am excited about embarking on this cleanse. I feel hopeful for all the things that I hope to accomplish/find during this process. I am excited about accomplishing the cleanse itself, about completing a difficult challenge that I am making to myself.
What I commit to:
I commit to complete a full 10 day cleanse, start to finish, without interruption.
I commit to journaling every day, at a minimum of right when I wake up and right before bed, about how I feel.
I commit to practicing at least 10 minutes of yoga every day, and more when I feel like I am able.
I commit to trying to swim at least 10 minutes, gently, at lest 4 of the 10 days.
I commit to reminding myself to stay positive and strong when I feel doubtful or hopeless.
I commit to myself, and to giving myself this opportunity to experience something completely different.
I commit to reminding myself that while I am choosing to deny myself food, many many people the world over do not have the option, and are far hungrier than I am and still manage to soldier on.
I commit to believing in the power of my body to adapt and overcome.
I commit to myself to be strong, and to find within me a source of discipline untapped, and making it readily available for my use for the rest of my life.
I gorged myself at Thanksgiving yesterday at my family's celebration in Cincinnati, and woke up this morning still feeling uncomfortably full. I eat compulsively, for all occasions/moods/emotions really, but particularly to deal with anxiety and sadness. I would like very much to develop a healthier relationship with food, and to develop discipline over compulsive cravings feel generally less encumbered and more energetic. I suppose that's the purpose for my wanting to starve myself for 10 days, consuming only a lemonade cocktail that frankly doesn't sound too appealing.
Ok. For organization's sake:
What I hope to accomplish by fasting for 10 days with the Master Cleanser method:
11/26
*to break my habit of compulsive eating-- hope to do this by:
----learning to discipline myself and control compulsive cravings
----reflecting inwardly during the 10 days
*to experience something spiritual/internally insightful
*to lose a few pounds (since I might as well be honest here)
*to develop a generally heightened sense of discipline
*to really delve into my yoga practice
*to gain some sort of mental clarity
*to focus myself on what it is that I want
*to focus myself on what it is that I feel
*to learn what it feels like to be hungry, and to use this to help relate to much of the rest of the world
...(will add more as they come to me)
What I think will be difficult about the cleanse/fears:
*hunger pains
*worried about gas/painful intestinal response, especially after my bad reaction to the herbal detox program (herbal supplements) that resulted in about 9 days of painful stomach aches
*the urge to eat (seemingly overwhelming, but will not be!)
*worried about ability to focus and be productive
*worried that I will not be able to be physically active
*worried that it will impact my intimate life
Today's food intake:
B.fast at First Watch: Museli & organic vanilla yogurt, goedda, coffee & water (some artificial creamer in coffee)
lunch: chicken tenders from Arbys & water & Jamocha milkshake (on the road back from Cincy)
dinner: chick peas & raw cucumber, red peppers, & radishes with organic apple cider vinegar, salt, & pepper with pita bread & water
after dinner: chai black/yogi detox hot tea mix with soymilk
How I'm feeling today:
I am excited about embarking on this cleanse. I feel hopeful for all the things that I hope to accomplish/find during this process. I am excited about accomplishing the cleanse itself, about completing a difficult challenge that I am making to myself.
What I commit to:
I commit to complete a full 10 day cleanse, start to finish, without interruption.
I commit to journaling every day, at a minimum of right when I wake up and right before bed, about how I feel.
I commit to practicing at least 10 minutes of yoga every day, and more when I feel like I am able.
I commit to trying to swim at least 10 minutes, gently, at lest 4 of the 10 days.
I commit to reminding myself to stay positive and strong when I feel doubtful or hopeless.
I commit to myself, and to giving myself this opportunity to experience something completely different.
I commit to reminding myself that while I am choosing to deny myself food, many many people the world over do not have the option, and are far hungrier than I am and still manage to soldier on.
I commit to believing in the power of my body to adapt and overcome.
I commit to myself to be strong, and to find within me a source of discipline untapped, and making it readily available for my use for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
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